I found peace in your violence.

I need someone to help me. I feel like I’m on this rollercoaster of emotions and I’m the only one riding. Alone. I’m so used to fighting, It’s no surprise it comes as a second nature. I fight for loved ones, I fight against loved ones. I fight against myself, I fight for myself. I […]

I’ve been on the low…

I don’t think I’ve ever been so paranoid. I think both of my partners are out to get me. I feel like I’m going crazy. I know that they aren’t out to get me, I have that clear of a mindset to be able to tell the difference. I don’t want to feel like this anymore […]

I really don’t like feeling like that…

Lately, my mental health has been decreasing, if you’ve followed me for long you’ll know things haven’t been easy for me. The last two days have been hell and I’m hoping today isn’t the same. I’ve been very paranoid and thinking everyone is out to get me, even my partners. I keep thinking they are teaming up […]

Give me the green light…

Gaslighting, we all know someone who does it. I am writing this post to tell you, I am sad to be that person in your life. I will be quick to do it too, a safety mechinism. But I’m not writing this post to make excuses, I’m writing it to hold myself accountable. Fights have not […]

Stuff and Things

I got a new computer so I’m getting used to a new keyboard…again. Though its touch screen, I’m having a hard time getting used to it. (having a tech savvy boyfriend is helpful). I’ve decided my path for school, I want to be an IT person with a minor in business so I can start my […]

Lift me up…

I’ve been trying to write a letter to my dead beat father for awhile now so that I can send it to him via snail mail. Every time I try I get angry and emotional and start taking my anger out on everyone else. It’s a vicious cycle, he finally agreed to do therapy with me, but […]