Im sorry for all the things Ive done in my past. It haunts me everyday. It haunts my day to day life. All the voices in my head wont shut the fuck up. Im so full of rage I dont even know how to explain how I feel. Just rage. Me and my grandmother got […]

So I had a break through in therapy and it was great, short lived, but great. I found out I am a type 4 personality with fits me perfectly so now we have to plan in place for how I need to handle the cons and become a healthier 4. I want to get better […]

I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long, I sold my laptop because we needed money. So I am having to use my husbands. In recent news I have decided to stop going to Daymark (the place I go for my mental health that doesn’t do anything to help people.) I have called a new […]

Two days, for two days I have tried to type this post. I have tried to come to terms with everything that has happened, the wreck, the jail, the charges, the changes, the 6 rollovers landing on his head. The specialist, the relapse, the shame, the pain. I haven’t been taking very good care of […]

Lies. One of the worst things you can do. If anyone who’s ever read The Kite Runner might remember the quote Baba said to his son. “When you kill a man, you steal a life,” Baba said. “You steal his wife’s right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, […]

I deleted this account and had it recovered by the awesome team at wordpress. This post has TW, rape mention, sexual activity, alcohol mention 

Things in relationships are hard, especially with two people. Things happen and then you go to a therapist and thing that everything will be okay if you just do what she says that maybe it will help. But its the opposite it causes problems and over-reactions. Its like maybe you shouldn’t go anymore because you […]

I am wrong. I hold on to things too tightly. I don’t let them go when they need to be let go of. I’m not a good person. I don’t know what I should even be writing about. its all a fucking joke anyway. getting better is a joke. having a therapist is a joke, […]

I feel so unwanted. So lonely. I do not know what I’m doing or what I’m going to write this is just an impulse write to stop from doing something stupid. I’m broken, I have to fake it till I make it. I am so lonely. I use drugs to numb myself to all the […]

I know what your heart feels like from the inside. I knew your voice before I knew my own. I was you before I was me. I trusted that you would always keep me safe as best you could. I know things happen, life happens, things can go very wrong. And they did. They went […]